|Friday, February 20th, 2009|
|Work...work...and more work!!
Well as you can tell I've been workin alot since the lake trip. Had a bad ass time with friends and it cleared my head to here I decided that I want to try and work things out with Kimberly. So we have seen each other twice since then but wouldn't you know it things are looking like she still doesn't know what she wants. I have changed so much but she seems unwilling to give me a chance to prove it to her. Right now its a up hill battle for me not to just say fuck it and move on but I'm sitting here not knowing what she is going to do. I really think that there is more to it than what she is saying and by more to it I mean that guy. After all I know I have changed but damn how much of a change can you see in someone if you have only seen them twice since getting back with them. I'm the one that has to change...I have to change everything I do and I am willing to do that but all I have ever asked her was to show me that she is in love with me. A kiss, a big smile right after a kiss, look into my eyes and give me a warm feeling inside that last a life time, do anything that shows me your happy that I'm who your with and who your proud to be with. She wants more time together and I'm willing to give her all my free time but even when we spend free time together she wants me to take her places that she has hinted about before without having to bring them up. I forget the date/day/time it is all the time and she wants me to remember where she was talking about wanting to go weeks ago. I will start writting them down from now on so I don't for get. But I have always been the laid back guy that if any one of my friends asked me, hey lets go here tonight I would go. Same with her but she just has to let me know when she wants to go but I'll take the blame for that one too cause I should have taken her out more. The tough thing was I always wanted to do stuff with her but the way everything was made me not want to. I guess for her to show me what I want from her I need to take her out and maybe that would get me the things that I need from her in return. BONUS CHECK COMING SOON!!! Thats right $2,500 for nothing lol..then they have to pay us our 3% raise and all the back pay from Feb 1st. March we will get our EIP and I'm hoping for around $3,250 on that one but we'll see. Working overtime this weekend but I hope I get off during the week so I can see Kimberly if thats what she decides she wants. Funny how alittle over a week ago she want me back more than anything and a week passes and we are back in the same place. Her not knowing what she wants to do is driving me carzy!!! Current Mood: crazy
|Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009|
|Another day gone by
Funny thing happened at work...everyone and I mean everyone on my shift decided to joke with me about me and my ex. I think they know I've been down so they just wanted to make me laugh. Well good new is I'm off for three days so its time to see how I do being off and without her. But I think a good this happened today, I really didn't feel like I needed to write on here about any of my pain. Dunno if that means I'm moving on or whatever but I think its a good sign that I can get through this. With that said thats about everything that I want to say today. So heres to me getting back out there and seeing whatelse is out there. 5 years out of the game is gonna be rough though lol!! Current Mood: blah
|Sunday, February 1st, 2009|
|To strike or not to strike
That is the question...well it looks as if we aren't going on strike. With that said its still far from 100% but they have agreed to most of the terms and extended talks for another 24 hours. We were told tonight that our local union agreed to a 3% raise each year for the next 3 years. So thats around a dollar per hour. Valero in Port Arthur is holding out to get a 5% raise but from what we have been told we will work as if things were signed and done. So if they go out on strike we will then have to see if the international union wants us to walk out with them. If they do get the 5% raise it means all unions would get the same raise which is good for us. Now that we got the raise out of the way, heres a brake down of the two big rumors I have heard tonight : 1) We are getting $2,500 divided over the 3 year contract for medical...not sure what that means yet so if that one is true I'll have to look into it. 2) THE ONE I HOPE IS TRUE...everyone will get $2,500 signing bonus up front!!! They got $1000 last contract but some of them don't believe this to be true. I know for a fact the company offered us $500 and 2.5% so I think it could be true so I'll keep hope alive till I find out if its true or not. Ok enough about work, time for my personal life. Well today is the Super Bowl and I hope the Steelers get the shit beat out of them!!! Not sayin that I don't like them but being a Cowboys fan I don't want to see any team with more Super Bowl wins. So lets go Cards!!! Plus my co-workers son plays for them so it would be cool to see him get a ring. Shitty thing is I will be working nights so no party for me...well just the one that we'll have at work lol but no beers or hot chicks. Last night was a rough night cause I didn't talk to Kimberly all day. It was tough but this is what she made me decide so its out of my hands for now. Its funny that I can go through most of the day time and not think about what she is doing but night comes and its all I think about. So all in all it was rough but I made it through it and they always say its hardest the first time so its down hill from here! Looked at some house for the first time in a while tonight...and me and a guy from work that I don't work with all the time started talking and he said man you need to be looking at rings for your gf first don't you? So I told him the whole deal and said the funny thing is that if we don't go out on strike and things were good between me and my ex (still doesn't sound right) that I think I might just be looking into them. When he heard this he started joking about her being with someone and all the other normal shit that someone can joke about after they find out that someone lost their gf. It made me upset but I blew it off so he gave up on it after alittle while. Well I think thats about it and just let me say FUCK THE STEELERS AND THE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEM!! lol just play GO CARDS!!! I got to work tonight and tomorrow night but will be off the 3 days after that so it looks like a good time to get back out there and see whats life has to offer me! Current Mood: hopeful
|Thursday, September 11th, 2003|
|Well Today Sucked
yup the title says it all this time...today started out waking up late and didn't go to class....went to work and that was ok but all i could think about was my problem that i'm having between me and my gf...so i get off work and we kinda talk about it then go eat and things were gettin better and then we started talkin about it and she acts like she doesn't even care that i'm bothered...then she goes home earlier than she normally and calls me and then i told her that i just need her to be here for me which shes not so i dunno what to think of that at all cause its like when i need her to be here for me she wasn't here...i know that college is important but i know that if she ever needed me it wouldn't matter what time it was i would be there talkin to her on the phone or doin whatever she wanted me to and shes not doin the same for me someone she loves...ahhh i dunno but this shit sucks bad!!! Current Mood: annoyed
|Wednesday, September 10th, 2003|
|Good God Its Been A Long Time!!!
Man i don't know how long its been since i wrote in here but things have been goin good...my car is coming along still needs to go faster but as of right now i'm ok on the speed i have..things between me and kimberly have been goin good..well not tonight but they are still goin good...i got out of my car/truck club Shattered Images cause they were bitchin to much about stupid shit within the club so now i'm starting my own team called A.M. Racing...i hope everything with our new team goes good...still workin at the same job doing nothing at all...goin to college again tryin to make up two bad grades i made so we'll see how that goes but so far so good...this summer was fun stuff went to Hot Import Nights, Heat Wave and Nopi Drag Wars. i've see alot of tight rides and had alot of dream cars that were out at the shows but as of right now i will work on my car and make it into my 11 sec. baby!! well i got class at 8 so i'm goin to get off here and get some sleep so gnight to all and to all a gnight!!! Current Mood: crappy
|Friday, July 25th, 2003|
|Heat 2 the mother F'in WAVE!!!!
What an awesome weekend...the only thing i would change was one of my friends named derrick (not derek) dancing with my gf but i know it was just a joke....anyways we went to austin on friday...checked in and the rooms were cheaper than what we thought that were goin to be so me and kimberly got our own room...HELLA FUN!!!!!! anyways friday we really just went around town lookin for a fuckin tube to fix my friends bike cause he got a flat as soon as we got there....then we went and took a shower and had a quicky..lol..fun....and we went to their room and chilled for them to get ready so we could meet up with my truck/car club....so we meet up with them and they are all thinkin that we were just goin to get shitty there and not go out but we talked them into goin out to the clubs on 6th st and by this time everyone was alittle shitty...oh boy was kimberly real shitty...lol...jp she was feeling good. so we went to this club called end up cause they stay open till like 6a.m. and it was ok music kinda sucked though...went back to the hotel room and kimberly was feeling bad so the nice guy that i am i asked her if i could do anything for her and she said no and not a second after she said no i passed out...lol...i was feeling good too....but we woke up the next morning/afternoon and decided to go out to the truck and car show...it was like 150 outside!!! so we walked around for awhile and my friends gf got sick so her and kimberly went inside while me and my friend checked out the rest of the show...so as we were walkin out i thought that i had lost all of my money so that was not a good thing and started tripin but i found it..lol..i left it in my car..we went back to the hotel and swam and got out and took a rise off and kinda messed around but that was bad...lol...good but bad...then we ate pizza and went to my clubs hotel and chilled with them....went out to this club that everyone that went to heat wave got in free...so there was like 2000+ there for the wet tshirt contest...left the club which with all those people was as hot as the fuckin truck and car show and went back to my friends hotel..then we followed some black guy to his house and then went back to our hotel where the real fun began!!! shower....fun...bed...funner!!! then went to sleep in kimberlys arms naked!!lol...sorry but what can i say it was great...woke up and went back out to the car and truck show and then came home!!! i hated to come home cause i knew that sleeping without her by my side would suck and sure enough it does!!! got sick two days after i got back and thats about it for my Texas Heat Wave trip!!! oh yeah and i got really shitty every night!!lol...fun stuff i tell ya fun stuff....i love you kimberly!!! Current Mood: happy
|Tuesday, July 15th, 2003|
|It seems that i only write in here when things are goin bad!!
Well i guess that when things are good i am to busy to write in here...but like last time things aren't goin that great right now...kimberly told me that he ex emailed her and told her not to go with me to heat wave to stay here cause he wanted to spend time with her...well i think that what i said to her was right...i don't care if she talks to him if he needs her and if thats all he wants to talk about...but that fucker pushed it to far this time by tryin to hook it up with her this weekend....she said that she tells him that she is happy with me and that shes not goin anywhere...but i guess that shit isn't goin to work with this dude and its really gettin to me cause i don't think that she wants to give up whatever it is they still have....dunno what i'm goin to do cause i don't want to loose her and i have already tryed telling her not to talk to him or shit like that and that didn't work as you can tell...this shit is really tearing me apart cause i love this girl alot!!! but fuck what can i do!!!! i need someone to help me cause i really don't want to loose her but i can't take this and i don't think that anyone should take this!!! Current Mood: pissed off
|Tuesday, July 8th, 2003|
|WTF am i thinkin?
I dunno if it me...or if i'm tired...or if my head is just goin with the first thing that comes to my mind....well tonight i read kimberlys journal on here and she talked to her bf which she didn't tell me about...well i got kinda pissed off you can say and she came over and told me that she didn't tell me cause she didn't want me to say the same thing that i always say....which i understand but i tell her everything like she is my best friend and she doesn't do the same i guess...i dunno...so she leaves cause i didn't know what to say and i still have no idea what to think or say..i've been workin 8-4:30 and stayin up till 1 or 2 cause i can't sleep and i know that i'm not thinking as clear as i should right now but i dunno i hate thinkin that he still has something to do with her cause when i look at her all i can see is me with her and when his name is brought up i dunno how to act...she thinks that its fine for me to talk to my ex and i told my ex that and she thought it was crazy just like i did cause i knew when i called my ex what it was about...she missed me and wanted me back and blah blah blah....and i know that derek still misses her and wants her back cause last week or so he made up all this shit about me which none of it was true....so right now shes not talkin to me online and i'm thinkin that i'm about to TRY to go to bed but i know thats not goin to be possible cause i got way way way to much on my mind....i love her with everything but i dunno if i can take her talkin to him..but if i say anything i know that i might lose her cause they were together for a long long time....god please help me make some reasoning for this and let me sleep good tonight!!!!!!!! Current Mood: drained
|Thursday, June 26th, 2003|
|Just gettin in!
Just a little something something i thought of today at work that helped me to deal with a certain thing that i can't stand really but i don't think i have any place to step in.
So many thoughts running through my mind,
Wishing sometimes that my heart was blind.
God knows I don't want to think this way,
But I have no control, so what can I say?
One little thought consumes my mind,
Not knowing how to leave it behinde.
So I deal with it in my own way,
Cause to tell you I wouldn't know what to say.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I swear,
So why should I even care?
About these thoughts that seem so real,
But nothing could ever change the way I feel.
So this what i need to say...I hate his name, I hate his face,
And I hate the thoughts of y'all cause it makes me feel out of place.
Thats where i stoped cause i had to do some real work...lol...well kimberly, i hope that when you read this you don't get mad or anything i just don't know what to say or do about this thing cause i don't feel its my call...but i hate the way it make me feel and if i take it out on you i'm sorry...well to everyone else that read this don't think that i love her any less cause i still love her more everyday its just this is like a little pain in my side...not a big enough deal to do anything about it but its still there...if you know what i mean...well i'm goin to bed so i'll write on here when i get a chance lata Current Mood: blah
|Tuesday, June 24th, 2003|
|Sorry I haven't wrote in here in awhile
I know its been a hella long time since i wrote in here and i need to write in here more often...well i had alot goin on this week and its been great to see that kimberly wants to be with me while i go do my car/truck bs...we are very close and its coming up on our one month..can't remember another month of my life that i was this happy...she is awesome...well my car is doin the same still pissin me off cause i don't have any money to spend on her but she is still runnin ok i guess...well i'm goin to sleep so i'll write in here when i get a chance...lata people...go to www.angelfire.com/extreme4/banger/index.h
tml Current Mood: happy
|Sunday, June 15th, 2003|
|People talk shit!!!
Don't you hate it when people talk shit and their cars not faster than yours...and on top of that their ride don't look as tight as yours....yeah i know a guy that talks shit but its ok cause he is on my gfs web site thing and i'm not goin to bash his car on there cause it would be under her name...anyways tonight was fun went to world gym and raced a v6 accord and a v6 eclipse at the same time and kiked their asses bad....not that many people out there but we (me and kimberly) went back to a buddy of mines house and chilled there and i took some of their drunk asses to the store so i could get some beer and while i'm in side the store i left them in the car....get back in my ride goin down the street and they are in the back seat laughin and shit and say hey man we got some pussy tonight....i was like what and they were like yeah we got some pussy at the store and he was like show them and then a fuckin cat jumps in my lap and jumps into my passegers lap and i'm like fuckin trippin cause i had no idea what the fuck it was at first and so i'm like what the fuck and the cat jumps back on me and then out my fuckin window at like 35 mph...it made it ok just kinda skid and started to run back into my lane in which there was another car coming but it missed the cat so everything was ok....i guess that cat is down to 7 lives now...lol....but i have some stupid ass friends but they make me laugh so what can i say? well me and kimberly are doin good...everyday i can't wait till i see her and she is the same way..i hate it when she leaves cause it feels like a part of me is missing...oh man what can i say i love the girl...well its time for me to go to bed so i'll talk to ya'll when i get a chance...lata Current Mood: annoyed
|Friday, June 13th, 2003|
what's up....well i've just been chillin, goin to work, hangin out with friends, and chillin with kimberly...man everything is great in my life and i feel as if i have a point now....i talked about making changes and i have made alot of changes and some were hard but i think that they made me stronger...kimberly is workin all weekend so i dunno what i'm goin to do but i wish she could be with me but i'll just have to wait till 10 to see her each night..she sucks!!! she has done more stuff to her car in the past 2 weeks than i have done in like a whole month....lol....must be nice...but i need to go to work just thought that i would write in here and say that everything is great and me and kimberly are still doin very good...god i get lost in her eyes what can i say she takes my breath away!!!!!! lata ya'll
|Sunday, June 8th, 2003|
|HOT IMPORT NIGHTS was the SHIT!!!
Just got back home from hin...and it was the shit...bad ass cars and hella people...kimberly had a good time too so that made it that much better! left hin around 10 and went to Hooters to eat and then went out to the main drag in houston to look at more bad ass shit...oh yeah and to starbucks i love that place...kimberly was lookin damn good too and she busted me checkin her out..lol..it was a great nice..oh yeah i kinda jumped a parkin bump thing in her car that was the only thing that wasn't good about tonight....damn i want a turbo and yeah i really really want one bad!! but all i know was tonight was the shit and i love you kimberly and i'm goin to bed cause i'm so fuckin tired that i can't even think about what to write on here cause it was all fuckin tight!!! lata Current Mood: tired
|Friday, June 6th, 2003|
|I got a web page for my CAR!!!!
tml so if you wanna check it out you can....still loving every second i'm with kimberly and she is the one that helped me with the web page but we're not done yet so keep checkin it out and let me know what ya'll think no pics of my car yet but there will be by sunday...tomorrow we are goin to hot import nights and i can't wait to see kimberlys face when she sees all of the bad ass shit out there..but i'll have pics from that on my web pafe too so just give me time and it will be some bad ass shit...goin to see kimebrly so i'll write on here lata
|Wednesday, June 4th, 2003|
|Still loving EVERY minute of US!!!
Haven't wrote in here in awhile cause i've been doin alot of shit....well partyin, hangin out with friends, and the best thing that i can think of being with kimberly...wow she is so amazing...she knows me so well and we click in every way if ya know what i mean....lol....yeah its great!!! so june 7th is almost here and its goin to be a fun day kimberly is goin with me and a bunch of my friends to hot import nights...i love the fact that she is gettin started in cars and stuff and i wasn't the person that rubed it off on her cause she wanted to fix her car up before she met me...but what i wouldn't do for some extra cash...my poor poor car is feeling left out cause she hasn't had anything done to her in awhile but what can i say she is almost all mine so thats good enough for me...tomorrow is goin to be another event packed day...i need to wake up and fix some stuff on my car and go to work get my pay check and cash it so i can give it to my grandparents on thursday, need to cut the grass, finish workin on kimberlys car and do something tomorrow night...i need to sale my bike thats what i need to do..i'm goin to run that in the papers around here and in cycle trader too so i'm already goin to be broke again but if i sale it then i will have hella cash for my car!!!!!!!! well i'm goin to bed so gnight to all and to kimberly you made/make me dizzy all the time..lol Current Mood: tired
|Sunday, June 1st, 2003|
|WOW she knows me so well aready!!!
Ok well i was goin to play a game on playstation 2 before i went to bed and i remembered to charge my cell phone and so i turned it on and pluged it into the charger and she had already sent me a text message sayin that she is tryin to let me into her heart and not to get mad if she says things about derek...so all and all for now i'm just goin to be understanding about it and not make it as big of a deal that it is to me cause i can understand where she is coming from...man i told ya this girl was great!! well i still don't want to be compared to him cause in now way, shape or form am i anything like him or anyone else as far as that goes but i'm happy again....lol...damn shes the best...goodnight i hope lol!!!! Current Mood: impressed
|Happy yet SAD!!
Man what a day...got alot of shit done today that needed to be done and worked on kimberly's car and got it half way done...tonight was tight i got one of my buddies to come with me and kimberly to starbucks and then to world gym to hang out and see if anyone wanted to race...so we had fun i guess but there was not that many people out there like i thought there would...but all in all a good time..so we decided to leave there and come here and chill before kimberly had to go home to get some sleep cause she has work tomorrow..so ok she wrote me an email that i'm still tryin to forget yet its really hard to forget about cause she talks about derek alot..and thats why i'm in a kinda shitty moode right now...see we were layin down in my bed and she was starting to go to sleep which she needed to stay awake so she could drive home and she started to twitch her legs and i noticed it but didn't say anything and she told me that she just now relized why derek would do that....i mean i know she didn't mean to hurt me by it but god he is the last person that i wanna think about when i'm layin there with her like that...so i put my feelings away and walked her out side so she has no idea yet that i felt this way but alot of shit is goin through my head right now and i hate it cause she is like no other girl and maybe she was right that she's not ready to jump into this cause i know that i hate to hear her talk about derek but i dunno shit man i dunno cause i like her so much and i am fallin in love with her but i think that this one thing is killing me so i have no idea what to do about it so i can say yeah i love her but the biggest thing is that i don't want to lose her but i don't want to feel like i am goin up against him which its hard to think that i'm not when she talks about him....aaaahhhhh goin to bed gnight!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: confused
|Friday, May 30th, 2003|
I asked her out tonight and she said yes!!! I'm so happy i dunno what to say cause i can't say how happy i am...she is amazing..everything about her makes me fall all over again..tonight i went to the track in baytown and watched the imports run and it was fun as fuck just wished that she was there with me and that i had my car so i could run...but she had work and i haven't done anything but spend 1 grand on it to actually get me down to another grand that i owe to my grandparents so i would run about the same...but while i was out there i talked to my pops and he said that i need to get a credit card so i could get my turbo on my car as soon as i sale my dirt bike so i'm goin to find out what i need to do to get one so it will be on when i sale that bitch...well i'm tired so i'm goin to bed what more can i say but what a fuckin day!!! and who knows what tomorrow brings but with kimberly by my side i can do anything. lata Current Mood: happy
|Wednesday, May 28th, 2003|
|Never been Better!!!
well its been awhile since i wrote in here so i thought that it was time for me to write about whats been goin on and whats up with me and my car. ok first things first me and kimberly are gettin along great..she still blows my mind with everything that she does. she is great and makes my life great. we are talkin...you know not bf/gf but more than friends and i can't wait till i can call her my gf. i trust her more than she thinks i do because this last weekend at the lake i never had a doubt that she would be waitin on me here missin me and not with derek. this weekend at the lake was fun but i was ready to get back here to see everyone that i missed here and to see her the most. its crazy when we are together we never have to turn on the tv. we can just sit there and talk about anything and everything and have a great time. what more can i say about this girl but damn i'm glad that she is my girl. well as far as my car goes nothing that much has changed. i sold my speakes and got one 12 for weight reduction and took off my euros and put back on my stock tail lights cause i think they look better and the chrome on the euros would look bad with my rims being black when i get them. the best thing that i have do with my car is tomorrow i'm goin to pay my grandparents $1,000 bringin my debt to them down to only $1,000 and i still have a dirt bike to sale too..so once i sale that all that money goes to my pocket and not to them so watch out when i get that sold!!! well its been a great night chillin with kimberly and its now time for me to go to bed and wake up to her text message with a huge smile on my face! gnight to all and be safe bubbles i know that you are moving so let me know how its goin whenever you get a chance!! Current Mood: cheerful
|Wednesday, May 21st, 2003|
|Turning 20 and ending bday with a BANG!!!!
well may 20th was my bday...had an ok i stayed over at a friends house till like 2 or 3 am which was the start of my bday and kimberly wished me happy bday but she had to go home and sleep cause she had work in the morning but she woke up early and came out of her way to wake me up and tell me happy bday!!! i was happy but she had to leave so i went to work and got a funny ass card from my boss and a couple of people told me happy bad there. but when i got off i went out to eat with my pops a.k.a. dad and we talked about cars and shit. then came to one of my friends house and chilled there and shot the shit and he told me that later on we'll have people over for my bday/get together so i was down with that and kimberly came over and we took her car to my house cause he had to do some shit around the house. so we chilled here and she gave me my bday present which i didn't think that she would but she shouldn't of and then around 11 chris called and said to come over and chill and he was callin more people over but my other friend were on there way to my house so i told him it would be awhile. so it was like 11:15 when they got here and said happy bday while kimberly was chillin in my room and we walked into the main hall and felt this rumbeling out side and then out house started to shake and windows too. lol...funny thing was i was the only guy in the house with 4 girls all lookin at me for some kinda help or something and i had no idea what it was. all that was runnin through my mind was that we got bombed but i wasn't sure. so i went and looked out the window and one of the refineries close to our house BLEW THE FUCK UP!!! so everyone was tripin out around here like the end of the world was coming and they all left and went home so on my last 30 mins i was stuck here with my mom...wow what fun...but at like 11:45 i went back over to that guys house to see if they were ok cause it was closer to them and to get my car. they told me that they were outside and felt everything that happened and they thought that they were goin to die...no i know it sounds crazy but there was she fallin out of the sky like 9 miles away from where it happened and they lived like 1 mile away so my car was ok and i called and talked to kimberly and she made it home ok cause she lives in another city. so now it was like 11:57 and in texas they stop saling beer at 12 so we had to hall ass to the store and get some beer for my bday and i ended up chillin over there and drinkin till now. a day i will never forget and i was sayin that nothing cool happens on anyones 20th bday but damn mine went out in a BANG!!!! well i'm off to bed gnight bubbles hope that you are doin good! lyl Jeremy Current Mood: crazy